Terrifying Thought...Old Journal Entry

I was going through an journal entry from Last month, and I had wrote down a reflection of the most terrifying thought as I was spending time with the Lord. This was my entry:

Friday, March 9, 2012

What if, just what if... after the final days on earth, Jesus brought me to the depths of hell to see the anguish and pain on the faces of so many people? What if I saw family there? What if they saw me? What if I saw my friends and people I know?

I began to be overwhelmed with guilt and wondered if they would blame me that I didn’t tell them enough about salvation through Christ…or worse, that I didn’t tell them at all.

Then I wondered… would I see populous nations and people groups there who had not heard about Christ, or who had fallen away? Would I see numerous amounts of Spaniards there, who thought that they were saved but never really knew Christ at all, nor followed him? Part of me was numb at that thought; my minds eye was drawn to my family and friends and those I knew, I couldn’t help it, those were the ones my heart ached for. And then I imagined looking at Christ, and his eyes were on the rest…They cried out to him with shame in their weeping and their arms stretched toward Him in hopes they would yet save them… and Jesus’ face was wet with tears, and sadness filled his eyes as he looked at them. It moved me, it stirred in my heart a great love for them, and I also cried. And my heart grew a love for the Spanish like never before, and I spoke out loud as I now prayed to God, “I love them because you love them, and I’m going, because you asked me to.”