Thursday, November 5, 2015

we can be satisfied

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting 
on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children's children,
to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.psalm 103:17-18

I was meditating on psalm 103, and was reminded how rich life is with the Lord. 

These verses stood out to me. The steadfast love of the Lord...Who doesn't want that? Life sometimes gets so foggy, so filled with stuff, and activities. And in the midst of it all, it can feel very unsatisfying, and very lonely. But He endows us with his steadfast love and his righteousness, to those who fear him, who keep his covenant and those who remember his commandments. Sound like a tall order for a little love? He's really just talking about a healthy relationship. 

A covenant is a promise, or a vow, like a marriage vow. When we commit ourself to the Lord and his way, we tether ourselves to him and his Spirit who lives in us and unifies us to Him as one. The same how in a marriage relationship, two become one. When you walk in unity with the Lord, it becomes second nature to fear him or in other words deeply respect him. You know His heart and his character, you know he will protect you and keep you safe. He will prove to you through his steady, consistent, reliability. He will prove it to you also through His holiness, that becomes so obviously omniscient, and our striving for an ounce of resemblance to it pails in comparison, that in return you naturally respect Him, fear him and his Righteousness. And in Him we share in that righteousness, even though we don't deserve it on our own merit. With the Lord we get to share in His heart, His direction, and His purpose, and we can trust where he is taking us. We get to move as he moves and thrive in the communion of His Spirit in us, who gives us purpose and love. No matter how extravagant or mundane our lives might be, we can be complete in Him, we can be Satisfied in Him! I love that. 

 I was thinking how our union with the Lord doesn't necessarily promise great wealth, or a perfect career, it doesn't promise an easy life, but it does promise a forever Togetherness. And to simply be forever on this journey through life with Christ, is enough for me. Whether in hard times, poor times, weak times, sad times... If it's With Christ we can be assured that through all of it we will be OK. 

Isn't that beautiful. There are many blessings that come with being in union with Christ; and the greatest is truly the union itself. It is a great day to know our Lord, to walk with Him and love and be loved by him. Life is so short, we are not guaranteed tomorrow; lets put our trust in Him TODAY.

Anyway that's my discovery in His Word yesterday. ️ 

Friday, August 8, 2014

He Still Is Writing My Story..

I am a missionary at heart for the Gospel of Jesus to be heard by all the nations, and have a passion for the diversity within our beautiful earth. Where differences are compelling to me, and Gods passion for us is evident in the articulate detail of his handy work throughout the earth.

His faithfulness is unceasing and His love too great to comprehend. Where He so greatly desired to make a way of hope and life and future for His broken creation who had turned away from Him; still He refused to turn away from us.

Where the consequence of our turning away from our Creator required our own death and separation from God for an eternity; in His great love for us He would not abandon the work of His hands. The requirement for death only a man would suffice, and He willingly Set aside His Own Son, Jesus, who is God and equal to God in every way, and was with God in the beginning in the formation of every detail of this great earth and also of mankind. By Sending Jesus from His exalted place, down to earth to be born as a man, was the only way. His mission has remained the same, to redeem all mankind to Himself, to know the depth of His Love, True Life and an eternity with Him, for ALL who believe.

With Every Breath, I Will Praise the Lord

With the Spirit at move in me, I began a journey to the mission field in faith. I went to Bible College, and 5 years later came out with a BA in Intercultural Studies and Leadership Development. Soon after I applied to SEND International as career Missionary to Spain. I committed myself to the task of raising a team around me for 2 years with Gods help, that would encourage me, pray for me, and send me to the mission field.  Over that time, the Lord stretched me and encouraged me in a powerful way, however as my departure date approached, I reached a barrier. Not only was I short financially the full requirement to go, but a bump in the road shook our local family business that drained the 20% of my pledges that came from my family. I dropped from 75% of support to 55%. I not only had to rebuild my lot, but I felt compelled that the Lord was leading me and stalling me in this delay.

With so much much prayer and guidance from others around me, I was confident in the delay; the leading of the Spirit had confirmed in my heart His providence in not yet going to Spain.

I began this blog as journey to Spain where the Spirit had been leading me; and now continue it as a journey still with the Spirit of the Lord who redirects my path from Spain but still in His Mission to redeem nations to Him as He moves through me. This is the story of my life that He is still writing.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Time is a strange thing; so is waiting, and not knowing.

 The hardest part… was not that I couldn’t get on the plane, even though that brought about its fair share of crocodile tears. The hardest part, was learning how to live each day since, without knowing my future…without knowing how long I would be waiting…without knowing if my waiting would lead to another plane ride, or if not, then what there would be instead. The hardest part... was simply not knowing.

Time is a strange thing; so is waiting, and not knowing. And even the most prominent men and women of the bible know how real this all feels. And my God knows how easily my heart stirs with dreams too big for me, but equally so with the anxieties of all the uncertainties of those dreams coming true. Or even what to pursue when the dreams seem blurred or out of sight.

It has taken me a long time to process this last year of delay since having to officially step back from pursuing ministry in Spain.  And I do not know what He has in mind for me.

I consider how the dream began, 8 years ago, in the whisper of the early morning when my God asked me to wake up, and to get on my knees and pray for the nations. And there, as he stirred my heart, tears filled my eyes for the lost souls of people far from the gospel, and knowing that in their ignorance to, and/or rejection of Christ that they would die. I prayed for those who would bring the gospel to them, and it was there, that the Lord asked me, “WOULD YOU GO?”.

On that night, I very reluctantly accepted the task that was too big for me, as I was already anticipating all the reasons I was not best suited for such a call.  I made my list to God: from my insecurities, my lack of education, and my weaknesses that followed me from coming from a broken home. It had no effect, and again He pressed me with the question,  WOULD YOU?”. 

Since that day, the Lord grew in me a dream that had never been my own. Encouraged through events in my life, He confirmed in me that he was equipping me for the ministry of the gospel. I fervently moved toward the plans that He had for me in overseas ministry, in bringing the gospel to the ends of the earth.

It began in Ukraine, a 3 month internship with SEND International, where I spend my days hanging out with the youth in the local church, the weekends in the orphanage, and my spare time in my tiny Ukrainian bedroom with pink floral wallpaper and a rock solid sofa bed, next to my four story window overlooking the park and all those who walked by. I had no computer, no tv, no radio. All I had was my Bible and an overflowing journal filled with prayers and processing thoughts of this foreign land that had become my temporary home. I had never experienced such richness in my relationship with the Lord as much as I had in these months. My lack of Russian and long undistracted hours forced me to either talk to myself or to my God. He needed me here in this posture; this was the first step to confirming to me that He was with me, would never leave me, and that the list I gave him for not measuring up was actually best suited to my dependency on him for such a call. I would never be able to say I was able to accomplish such a call on my own strength.

When I returned to Canada, I tried to maintain the same nearness to God, but my comfortable life robbed me of such intimacy. Over those remaining 4 years of Bible College I had teetered back and forth in my emotional acceptance of His call, although still I pursued it. His un-relinquishing call remained and it seemed independent of what I felt or how I might occasionally get insecure and try to run from it. He would simply ground me and remind me, He was with me, and he would accomplish his plans through me regardless of my abilities, and that it was through my obedience that He would move.

I was comforted reading Jonah and that I wasn’t alone in my wavering, and how regardless of whether Jonah convincingly shared the gospel with the Ninevites or not, even in his unconvinced spirit to permit them to be saved, God used him anyway simply because he was available and obedient. Jonah was a mouthpiece and an instrument, and God was the one who accomplished His purpose through Jonah. The results were not dependent on Jonah, only the act of obedience to be used by God, and God did the rest. When I understood this, I realized that I couldn’t mess this up, If God called me, then I best be obedient and go, lest I get swallowed by a fish, and if I simply were willing, then regardless of my abilities, God would accomplish his will through me, through HIS ability.

In the four years longer after graduation till now, I re-lived the story of Jonah in my own way again and again, back and forth between my fear and Gods firm hand of direction. Not in confidence of my skills, but rather through obedience, I applied with SEND as a career missionary to Spain, and the years after I applied myself to the process of raising the support it required to get there. Many moments of trial and encouragement came through this, and God strengthened me in my resolve. I pressed on.

I was drawn to biblical stories of Gods leading and call; his using simple people, and seeing their response. From Noah’s unwavering obedience to building an arc and preparing for an unrealistic world flood, despite how others may have thought him crazy. Or Abraham’s obedience to leave his country not knowing where he was going, facing trials of many kinds, towards a promise he had no certainty that it would come to pass. Or Moses, leading the Israelites out of Egypt on a promise that the Lord would save them even though they wandered destitute in the desert for 40 years and all grumbled that he made the wrong choice, and he persevered holding onto the promise the Lord had given him. Or Joshua, trusting God that he would be freed from prison and that would one-day rule over his brothers. Or there is this lingering story in Acts that remained with me for years; Paul’s dream, the Macedonian call. His wandering in the land, knowing that he was called by the Lord to go and preach the good news to the gentiles, seemingly not knowing where he was supposed to go, and being withheld from preaching the gospel in the first two places they went. And they were likely exhausted by the time they reached as far as the land would take them, near the coast at Troas. And in Troas, he falls asleep, and  he has a vision that he was called to Macedonia. Remarkably on this inkling, he carries across the waters to Macedonia, likely because he knows that if he is wrong, that the Lord will redirect his steps as he already had twice before. 

Again I am reminded that I cant mess this up, I just have to trust the Lord with the call to ministry that he has given me even if I don’t understand it. I keep pressing on, as he leads, and sometimes its forward, and sometimes its not. I don’t know how long I will wait to see his promises. Whether still building the preposterous arc, or wandering the lands unknown, maybe across the desert for 40 years, or a drastic step backward cast into a prison where the promise seems less and less likely. Or maybe just listening to God’s leading, one foot after the other, to his subtle whisper I heard once before, that might even withhold me from a place for a time or even an eternity, or lead me directly in the morning; but regardless I can be sure to keep pressing on. Because, I would rather act on inkling then not act at all. The greatest accomplishments through God were made in action, and often looked ludicrous at the time.  Preparing for Spain, and not yet going to Spain, were both a result of Gods hand, his equipping and his leading. For reasons I cannot comprehend, he led me to the very departure date, and also caused me to pass over it, and He was in them both.

He is still in control, and I don’t know what he has in store for my future, and I know the journey won’t always make sense, or be comfortable, or be linier. But I know he is with me, he loves me, and that I can trust him with my life today and in the future. And I am ready to be used by him, and I want to obey and follow him always no matter where or when.  I don’t know what he has in mind for my future, but I trust that he is in it as much as he is with me now.  I praise him for the journey, and my understanding and view is so limited but I know His is not. I’m not about to give up now; I know I do not know the way. He has so faithfully led me this far, and I am delighted that he is mindful of this little girl. My next steps are crucial as my previous steps, depend on the Spirit in all things, to walk humbly and faithfully with my God, listening for his direction, and be obedient to all he calls me to. Why make life any more complicated then this? For in him, we are caused to live, and move, and breathe, to know Him, and accomplish through His Spirit all he calls us to. One day at a time.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Nurturing Our Relationship With God

A look at Building Alters

I'm going through Genesis lately, and its taking me some time as its content are rich in history, and depth, in culture, God's promises, God's Timing, and the relationship between God and His people, namely Abraham.

Naturally, I am inclined to get stuck at Chapter 12 on the Call of Abraham as I face the calling that the Lord has given me; to follow him to the ends of the earth in obedience to a conviction of sharing Christ and his Word and Love with those who do not yet know Him. As I find myself in a time of delay that I truly believe is God Orchestrated, I press into the Lord. I have taken note of Abraham's nearness to God and how he calls on him for everything, and have stopped to wonder about this whole 'building an alter business' that Abraham is so inclined to do. As I am waiting for things to move forward with Spain, I find a million distractions some good some bad, and have a million questions for God. Is this a good time to build an Alter? What are they for?

I did some digging, and I will share with you what I have learned, and I am excited to get before the Lord and take care of some alter business as soon as I get through this blog with you. Maybe you will want to too? :)

Nurturing Our Relationship with God
A look on building Alters

Abraham calls on the Name of the Lord continually, and I found this to be significant in his faith and in mine. I had heard my loving mentor and great friend Mrs. B talk a lot about building alters and I could never entirely wrap my mind around it. Is it the same as quiet time with God? Is it more direct? When and why do we build an alter and what does that look like?

Why do We call on the Name of the Lord?
  • to get leadership from God on what to do
  • to find grace for a trial your going through
  • for fellowship or to enjoy the presence of the Lord
Alter and Communion with God 

There is much to be said about building alters to the Lord, and a lot of it simply has to do with the cultivating of our relationship with Him. In relationships with those around us its easy to see that if we do not spend time with them, we grow distant from them, if we hurt them, we must rebuild that relationship and apologize and change our ways, if we need council or advice, we go to those around us who have it that we trust, if we want them to know how much we care about them, we tell them and even tell others, when we wish to be with them we meet them. 

Abraham loved the Lord with all his heart, and he trusted him and sought after him. His alters were a refection of his intimacy with the Lord, his yearning to get close to Him in all areas of his life. He knew the Lord was going to lead him, council him, love him and bless him and take care of him, and even to call him to things and places to great for him. And Abraham knew He needed God through all of it, he simply could not walk the journey alone. Abraham had great faith, and was renown for it. As I read through Genesis and see his nearness to God, I find myself hungry for more. I might be in a time of waiting for my next direction or step, but that is not where and when my call begins. I am exactly where God wants me to be right now, His call begins in hearing His his feet, at the alter.

Whom have I in Heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you. 
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the stength of my heart 
and my portion forever. _Psalm 73:25-26

love Missy
online sources that I must give credit to:

Just a few off track Thoughts while digging through Genesis, and why it takes me sooooo long to read!!!:

While going through the Word, I find myself very curious about the details of everything, like:
  •  "How much time past between Gods initial call for Abraham in the land of Ur of the Chaldeans (Acts 7:2-4), to the time that Abraham actually started out from Harran toward the land that God was calling him to?" (Gen:12:4), 
  •  "What is the significance of the promises that God gave him that continue to permeate through the entire biblical text?" (Gen:12:2-3).
Etc Etc.. I have had lots of questions and with the help of google beside me as I read and all the places I can find scriptural cross-referencing, it has really made the Word come to life. 

Some Fun facts...
  •  Did you know that Abraham was originally from southern Iraq?(Acts 7:2-4 ...Ur is present day Iraq) (google)
  •  Did you know that Haran (where God called him in Gen 12 and where he had settled after leaving Ur) was present day Turkey.(Gen:12:4) (google)
  •  And the land God was calling him to was naturally, Canaan, now known to be Israel/Palestine. (Gen:12:5) (google)

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Welcome to my Winterpeg house...

The House on Laval in Winnipeg has been one of my greatest highlights of living in this winter wonderland. I suppose as I prepare to pack up and move to Spain I am filled with nostalgia in looking back on the wonderful transition Winnipeg had been for me.

At the Laval House, I have 7 roommates most of the time; the upstairs are girls and the lower level are boys and 95 % of the time they are international students from all over the world. Typically they rotate in and out every few months to few years; so in the last three years that I have lived in Winnipeg, I have lived among a great number of nations.

This has been a great delight for me. I love love love diversity and learning about other cultures, religions and world views. And it has also been wonderful to also share with them mine.

Although the house may have had moments or chaos, miscommunication and even uncleanness (of which I might be the worst), there are definitely far more treasured times that I recall that far out weight the chaos. That being, simple life filled with community; time living together, laughing together, eating together and going for activities out of the house together. We often are the most eclectic group that you ever did see, somewhat of a Montley Crew, but thats what makes us awesome, because we are unique house family.

Anyways, here are some wonderful times over the years of what living at the Laval House of Nations Family looks like. ENJOY. I know I have. :)

Lets see if I can think of all the countries they have been from:

Canada, Mexico, Brazil, Russia, Germany, France, Netherlands, Ukraine, Turkey, Greece, Libya, Algeria, Nigeria, Ethiopia, Zambia, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, India, Saudi Arabia, Iran, China. And adopted roommates who never lived here but who were still part of the house were from South Korea and Japan.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Final Stages...

Next Steps
Its nearly the end of January, and I am preparing again to go to Calgary to continue in partner development for the ministry the Lord has impressed on my heart, for the people who do not yet know him in Spain.

Support and Visa
I still persist toward the final financial and prayerful support that is remaining, and pray that it lines up with the visa that I already have submitted months ago but have heard nothing about...I just wait, its all I can do. I had called the embassy in December and they told me that it could take months. I trust the Lords timing with each, as I am required to be fully supported before I can go to Spain. Although once my visa is approved I have 90 days to leave the country or I will have to begin the process all over again. So the timing of it all is vital, I must have my finances in order before my visa expires.

Even though this causes me to stress a little sometimes, I know that in this too, the Lord is in control. So I wait, ready to run out the door, anticipating the next steps the Lord has for me, and waiting for his hand to permit me to move ahead. I have peace with the timeline, I trust that it is all on time and in order as he has prepared it, and even though I don't know the details I am holding his hand to lead me ahead when he initiates.

Winnipeg these last few months have been a good break and opportunity to rest as well as help again in the family business. Also it has been wonderful to spend time with friends and family and to soak in the last of these homebound snowy days, that I do believe that I will actually miss. Even now my car sits in a light layer of snow on the street and its too cold to even start, but these days I don't mind being housebound. I have been on the road for so long -since April- that to be housebound is a wonderful thing. Too wonderful. I now sluggishly attempt to jump back in the race of networking and persistence in the realm of life that seems to always move a step or two ahead of me.

My Heart
There is a lot for me to ponder these days. That of what is going on now in life, and the chaos of being somewhat without a home, always travelling, entering in and out of peoples lives, never really knowing where I fit and where I have already been replaced. It can be fun sometimes, and sometimes it can be challenging for me to uproot so often as it disrupts the ability to go deep with friends. But even in this I trust that God is in control and press ahead to what he has called me to.

Scheduled Timeline
February 1st- Fly to Calgary
February 2-3 Attending MTO Missions Weekend at Centre Street Church in Calgary

Projected Agenda Pre-Departure
- Deepen Intimacy with the Lord
- Book Speaking Engagements at:
churches, ministries, small groups and coffee dates in Calgary and Winnipeg
- Mail Merger to all contacts
- Pack whats remaining for moving to Spain
- Continue to help my family get the family business in order before my departure to Spain

DEPARTURE TO SPAIN- as soon as Finances, Prayer Partners and Visa are in, projected for end of March 2013.

Remaining Financial Support Required
30% of monthly pledges which equals:    13 people at $100/mo.
26 people at $50/mo.
37 people at $35/mo.

Number of Prayer Supporters Required
28 more people 
(to partner with me to commit that we would pray for one another weekly with regular prayer requests)

Thanks for all you prayers, love and support. The Lord is good and in control. I have been reading through Revelation recently and am reminded how short our days on this earth are and how important it is to be ready for our Lords return. To those who belong to God it will be a glorious day, but to those who do not know him, the day will bring great tragedy, which is why we must be all the more ready to share with others the good news of our Lord and His Gospel of love and Grace for all peoples. 

Ways to Give
All my Love, 

Friday, November 16, 2012

Running on Mountain Time

Just a Preview of Canmore AB.

Last weekend I had the privilege of joining a group of young adult leaders from my church in Canmore for a Young Adults Leaders Retreat as we spent time in fellowship, prayer, and encouragement with one another and in worship of our maker. Needless to say it was a truly refreshing time and I went away excited at how the Lord is moving among my generation here in Calgary.

I have a busy next few weeks, and I look forward to them. Now that I am an official CSC Missionary, I am preparing for upcoming potential opportunities to speak among my church family and peers; in services, small groups, as well as one on one. If you or someone you know would be interested in booking me to share among you, a small group, at an event or church service, about How the Lord is Leading me in Preparation for Spain, contact me at I will be in Calgary for a few more weeks and then in Winnipeg.

I'm preparing still for my departure to Spain on Jan 3rd, Lord willing. I will be flying from Winnipeg and so I will need to return there in time to pack up my life for my first 5-year term in Spain. I was considering returning to Winnipeg sometime in early December; which hardly feels enough time to pack and to prepare final details to move and say goodbye, but with the Lords help its possible. Please be praying for my family at this time as they and I are beginning to feel the weight of living so far apart for so long.

I send out regular Newsletters and updates that you can join if you are interested. Again just shoot me an email at the above address and ask me to add you.

Thanks to everyone joining me on this journey, I can see the plans of the Lord coming to fruition and its so exciting to watch it unfold. :)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. _Jeremiah 29:11

Praising my Lord and Saviour!!